WhO iS ShE
Assalamualaikum
I miss you so much!
I am in such desperate need for you!
I have not seen, heard or tasted you for so long...like about almost a year now
Your tender touch
Your mild sweetness
Your HOTness
I was light headed because of you yesterday
Henry Ford: If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right. also attributed to Mary Kay Ash
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
12:50 PM
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RaiNiNg CAtS & dOgS yEstErDay
Assalamualaikum
Darn i missed silat yesterday.hehehe. I was like so READY. Seriously i was dressed and so already ready to go out.But then but then...
it rained, then suddenly i felt lazy. And then i felt light headed...
Oh yeah, so i thought i laid down on the bed and rest for awhile, but then but then...
I felt asleep!
Sorry ain! I didnt know whether she was waiting for me anot.
She called and msg but i could not reply her because i have not paid my bill and i dint answer her call cos i was sleepin.
AhaKz...yeah sleepin in my jeans and nice shirt.So nice!!
Henri Nouwen: When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
12:30 PM
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itS nOt tRuE...i DuN nEeD yOu
Assalamualaikum
Stop acting like you know stuffs. I know you are nice. But sometimes you do not know what wrong you have done or hurt someone.
Let me say that if i get angry at someone, i would definitely want to say nicely about how i feel to that someone and work things out but that someone is uncontactable then how am i supposed to do so??Tell me sallehan...
Not everything i say is about HER.
I was just referring to a girl. Im jus emphasizing that it is a girl.
Anyway i am not mad.
I am so disappointed in people who likes to accuse others of something that they did not really do, or atleast have they researched on it first?
Im sorry.
Im sorry tt i was sarcastic tt time to u.
Im sorry i accused u.
Anyways, she was sarcastic to me just now sia. So funny of her.
After that got back at her! It was hilarious lah...
I enjoyed talking to her.HEH!!
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
8:02 PM
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CoOL-nEsS
Assalamualaikum
it is now almost to 11.i am tired.i am hungry.i am weak.
Yesterday night i managed to make one more person dislike or maybe hate me. I tried to face it calmly and i think i did. It was lucky tt i had not even reach the level where i am about to turn impatient. Because once i've turned impatient. Oh u wudnt wan to go there.
Yeah so u better be thankful. Dun think tt only u can spit out vulgarities. Dun think tt im being nice and being quiet,u can step my head.Dun u think i cannot get mad being the nice person i am.
I guess its already the 2nd person i managed to make me dislike me in the same month??
Cool-ness & yay-ness!!
Hmmm maybe i should be doing what i do best and go on a conquest to make everybody in this world hate me.
The way i see it, being nice is definitely not easy but i am definitely not goin to give up although someone, i mean a friend of mine, once had the same view. SHE admitted tt 1 thing is tt its hard being nice, SHE also dint really feel appreciated when SHE goes around doing so. And therefore SHE once treated me sarcastically.
I guess i understand that perfectly. SHE is a sore loser. Oh yeah you do go to the religious class dont ya?But wat good does it do when u dun even have the basic true personailty one or specifically a muslim should have.
Dimanakah kasih sayang mu di antara muslim?
Dimanakah sifat keihksanan mu?
Dimanakah sifat saling tolong-menolong?
You are just one hypocrite man
im pretty much feeling neutral and carefree.I dun care abt anything anymore.
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
10:53 AM
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MotHeR
Assalamualaikum
I just finished my noon prayers and am now all alone at home on a sunday as my my brother went out and the other person don't know where, and my mum working on a SUNDAY! Yes working overtime just to support the family. And here i am lazing my ass off sitting at home doing nothing, rotting, not finding a job over this holidays. I am so useless. Well, atleast i am better than her other son of hers. Unlike him, i help around with all the chores around the house. Like i just did, hanging out the clothes dry, like i always do, like how what i am going to do later, do more laundry and hang out some more clothes. Dirty clothes that the other son always pile up. And maybe i am going to clean some parts of the house. Maybe not today that is.
Maybe i should get a job but i am so darn lazy to go around doing it. I was thinking that it had been like already half way through the holidays and it is already too late. I am going to be facing the brutality of being in year 2 soon so i guess i will be needing all the relaxing time i can get.
I feel so like i am a burden to my family man. And all i am doing is just complaining about it.Sheesh!
Better get some work done man...
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
2:21 PM
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SwEet ChiCkEn WitH SaUcE oF sPiCy RoJaK KitChEn FL0Or
Assalamualaikum
hey hey hey...early morning i missed my before-dawn-prayers and woke up at about 8+ in the morning. I had little worries about my results as i already felt numb and neutral because i was prepared for the worst which was thinking that i would fail mu ICBE and repeat the whole semester.
So i quickly got up, bathed and connected my lappie to the cable to check my results. ALHAMDULLILLAH!! I PASSED!!! i got a freaking C for ICBE which is a surprise, because i thought i would REALLY fail that ARSE subject. Maybe i passed because of the moderation but i sure do not care because a pass is all i wanted for that subject. The only disappointment i got was from mathematics.I should have gotten an A but i got a B+ instead.What the heck?! Never mind...work harder next time faizal!
I got so over it after that and then tried to find something for breakfast. When i opened the cupboard and tried to move a tupperware, PIANG!! MANY SUGAR (i purposely used the word MANY to emphasize on the wrong use of english to make it look...terrible???)dropped everywhere, while dragging the chicken to the bottom of the kitchen floor. So so i was like urgh...and decided to mop the floor while frying the chicken...so yeah multi-tasking.After the chicken was done...it tasted like...weird weird...i mean you know chicken satays are sweet,but chicken fired with sugar?? thats something else.So i just ate the "SWEET" chicken which was full of taste of the "ROJAKNESS" of the kitchen floor...NICE??yeah...
Well...after that went for prayers blah blah blah...
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
7:55 PM
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SoMe tHoUgHtS
Assalamualaikum
Well i guess now u maybe getting back what you deserve. Like the saying goes-
"What goes around, comes around"
Is not that great? Especially, especially if u know that you were a victim of an unfortunate situation or something that is not really pleasant. You may only realise it only after you get back whatever the "thing" that goes around.
If things seem like what i think it is. I would be so darn happy if you had realised it. "In your face!!", "Right back at ya!!"
I guess what i hope to say, which are bad things, i do not have the heart to do it. I still care. Syuhadah was right. I am too NICE and KIND! So now i can only say nice things and motivate you. But there is no use if you cannot even read this and would not want to listen.
DO not ever give up, KEEP HOPING!!
I guess people just do not realise when they actually possess something really valuable and take them for granted. You can only regret after u lose that treasure, and you MAY NOT get it back. So people, friends, try to SEE carefully. What i mean is, open up your hearts and LOOK with the most sincerity of your heart and not with the MASK of images you see with your own eyes.
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
5:15 PM
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tRiButE tO A FriEnD...WiWi
Assalamualaikum
This post would be like a tribute to my dear friend, Nawira.
About yesterday, i never realised how much you overlooked on the stuff that i asked you to ignore but then things already happened and i also never realised that you actually said that i was on her side even though i, in my heart, exactly know that i was no on her side and also that i cared MUCH MUCH more about you than her.
I guess i should be disappointed that you never saw that. I am siding her?? I mean i made the effort to contact and try to stay intact but i never really did that with her. I had always cared about you and concerned about you.
Realisations realisations.
With that i knew that OBVIOUSLY yeah i am sure you would agree to this that i had been taking you for granted of you for everytime i contact you i guess.
I am so GLAD and GRATEFUL for all your kindness for all this time and being patient with all my...erm...ya should know right. It maybe too much for words but THANK YOU is all that i can say.
Hmm...what i wanted to say just now had disappeared,most of it anyway.
But after yesterday and now...i am feeling so much better.
I AM GAY!!**
(** means that the word GAY has 2 different meanings
-a guy who is not straight and goes for other guys
-being happy and joyful!!
for those idiots out there, I am straight and I am happy!!)
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
1:25 PM
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HoW cOuLd yOu NaWiRa?!?!
Assalamualaikum
Note: this post you are about to read was written on the night before today after i face some chaotic day(that is the best word that i can use to describe it)
Haiz today was too much for words. It was too much to handle and I never ever EVER want to face a day like this ever again. Oh my nawira!!!!! How could you have ever done something like that to me?!?!?! Do not do that to me!! EVER AGAIN!!
Damn I am so exhausted and hungry not to mention right now. I just realized I was hungry after we-me, nawira and shuhadah left starbucks coffee at suntec city, after one whole day not eating. See what happens when there is a lot of things on your mind and when you think too much!! Faizal faizal…
BUT I am jus so so SO GLAD and THANKFUL that PRETTY MUCH, ( noticed how I stress on the 2 words PRETTY MUCH), PRETTY MUCH everything is over. Oh well, the other part I will think about it first.
Anyways…I ALMOST swore that I would make nawira pay for getting me dead worried about her. I thought about it so much and almost felt that I could faint at any moment man.
I was a little late and then nawira changed the location to suntec and that upset and pissed al further. I was not more of pissed, but more of anxious and could not wait to hear what was all that about. Yada yada yada…When I reached starbucks itself I was so nervous and went to the toiler first to wash up my face so that I would not do anything stupid. Yeah so anyways yeah damn I was so petrified lah because wii and shu were like so fierce. I have not even met shu before so I do not really know how she is, nice or not.
SO anyway there is a lot to say, there were too much to say.
Nawira nawira… I am glad it is all over.
Oh yah I think I ALMOST cried just now but luckily I did not because I was just amused by the fact that she had something with the other party and trying to find something about me to but that was ok, and the funny thing it was fine between us, especially after that when we outtalked ourselves about it. NAwira nawira…
Itulah pakcik cakap tak mahu dengar…what else I can say about just now?
Hmm I guess I am going to stop now man…
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
1:11 PM
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WhAt iS gOiNg On?!?!
Assalamualaikumhihi i just woke up at 740 with a stomachache and my mother toe of my right foot hurts,and now its already 830am. I am still confused i guess. How in the world did i hurt toe man?? What did i do on bed last night?? I knew i was woken up by somethingat 3+ after having such a hard time to sleep. Maybe i was mad and fought with the bed?!?!?! That is impossible.
Even if i brought something into my sleep because i knew i was mad at nawira and could have thought about it too much until it is brought into my dream,i would never do something like sleepwalking or fighting with my bed!! My toe hurts. WeiRd!!
AnyWays today is the day and i woke up so early but then missed my dawn prayers man and i cannot sleep after that. So i just thought of relieving myself...
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
8:29 AM
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PiSsEd!! FrUstRatEd!! ShOcKeD!! iM wOrRiEd AbOut yOU!!
Assalamualaikum
Nawira just called and then we had something to discuss.First of all she was late,and then what the heck,me and almutanazi'ah were trying to like joke around. And then, she was so serious in her tone and then she was like saying that we are supposed to meet her at city hall at 330 in the afternoon,and if we do not show its fine and its fine too if we do. She sounded so scary. She was like asking her to meet her for a pathetic 1ominutes of our time and tell us something and then she wouldn't tell us what it is about. Al was like pissed with her and argued with her why she could not discuss this over the phone instead because nawira said that we are going to meet for just 10 mins. and then she would go off to meet her best friend, syuhadah and then leave us there,walk away. That is s whacked!!
I mean what could we have done wrong that is so HUGE that could have pissed her off so much that she is so serious about it and so called sounded like trying to break off the relations or ties of friendship between the 3 of us. She said that the rest after she tells us what she needed to say, the rest is up to us to DECIDE whether to keep on contacting her or not.Like what the hell lah. We are so pissed, so angry,so frustrated,so shocked...and most importantly...i am so worried about her.
I mean after that, i was like asking al what is up with her? i mean what could we have done wrong? she does not usually act like that...i mean does she has a problem that she does not want to share with us? until she wants to break ties with us?? it could not really be about a small matter of us not contacting her issit? becaus i know i had always been trying to get us together to go out and catch up on our lives.
Thinking again,i know nawira is a very good individual and she would not do this kind of stuffs or rather i believe and want to believe that she has a good reason for doing what she is doing. She better has a good reason.I am going to stay pissed unless i know what that reason is and i can clear everything including.Nawira im worried about you!!!
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
9:04 PM
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iM a DuMmy At SwiMmiNg MaN...AiyO!!!
AssALamuaLaikum
heyhey had quite abit of fun today.I got up 630 in the mornin thanks to someone who called me at that time but i missed answering it and it was a private number so i never knew who it was. But i was thinking that it was a dream and the call was from that girl. So i prayed and slept back after that. Woke up at 9+,ate and cleaned up everything and after that,got myself busy by giving testimonials to whoever i could and yeah so i got some back!! wOOhOO!!
Yeah then i ran kindda late even though i was not late and purposely went out of the house at 12 when i know i was supposed to meet ahmad saleh in school at 12.I knew he would be late so yah thats alright and he said he would reach by 1230 and as i thought again,he was later than he said he would be.Saleh Saleh.Janji mELayu(MaLay's promise)
AnyWays,i had burning inspiration and motivation to get a good body because the day before i had seen the guy from SP dragonboat and presumingly that was the guy whom she is liking i guess. So yah i tend to have a better body. That is a healthy competition by the way. Yeah so i trained reasonably averagely normally hard today.Later on,went swimming and oh my im such a dummy in swimming man.And my heart is so weak,had trouble breathing man.
Tried my best and ok got the hang of it then.Then that stupid Saleh threw my glasses,the old ones luckily,at the bottom and asked me to dive to retrieve it.I was afraid at first because i think i suddenly have the fear of putting my face underwater nowadays. But then i did it!!!!! it feel good man.then had a few more laps of TRYING-TO-SWIM...hEhE...
OK then the bus was so freakin late lah damn it...wasted my precious times...gonna go gym tmr to train harder to get th desired body by the time school reopens man...so that i can show off to erm erm...i mean i have great body but it is just not good enough.
But i think nawira wanna meet...and that stupid saleh wants to work tomorrow form 11 til 3 or something...irritating freak...so seeya!!
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
7:44 PM
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Nanny McPhee...HeLp Me!!! PLeAsE!!!
Assalamualaikum...
FriDay
Heys...hmm been trying to get online man. hmm friday was a very frustrating day as i had to wait for them moment after moment man. Wait for one of them for like almost an hour,and then another one and somemore and its only pathetically 6 of them including me but it was ok lah after we got to sentosa itself and then dipped ourselves in the water. Here comes the frustrating part again when dayana and nadia went off ealier than any of us to take a shower and clean up, they took like an hour an a half man!! the rest of us were like WTF man.So fed up already lah. tHen went back home there were nobody!!! my family went KFC and ate there w/out me!!!wth...i was damn hungry lah...aiyo enough of friday.
SatUrDay
it was a fairly ok day.Slept like a log and had trouble waking up.Then bathed and had smtg to eat den shaved my not-there-moustache for the first time and it stinged after tt man.HAH! den watched cartoons and dressed up nicely along the way to kill time and went out at 1250 to pray at darul makmur mosque before meeting up w najiha and the other gal to watch NANNY MCPHEE!! they were VERY VERY VERY early and much earlier than i expected as i met them on the way to the mrt from the spectacle shop i was from...
then we were like strangers and like saying hihi and feeling very weird.HAH!! then najiha blindly queued up in the line for the tamil's movies.So typical of them!!Ahakz!! then after tt we got the tickets and walked ard for a while,naj got MCfLurry and we sat outside MaCdOnaLds and talked a lil bit and things were a lil not how i expected it to be and not EXCITED enough.
OH weLL...its her!what do u expect??
Anw we watched the movie and it was great!! Nanny McPhee!! Help me!!Please!!
it was nice lah.its how awkward after tt we dint really talk much and then just walked straight to the mrt and went home and dint really talk much.Haiya...
But overall reflection for the day-i think i did pretty well to control my feelings and i think i acted pretty normal,no i was as my normal self. Hmm surprising enough. Im usually known for acting impulsively i guess. What else?? i guess i pretty much din enjoy the day AND din really did not NOT enjoy the day...but the movie was great!! Anw take care friends...
Assalamualaikum...
Faizal Fernandez
6:59 PM
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MoNiN mOniN...
Assalamualaikum...
I just woke up at 8 jus now realising i slept peacefully thru the nite. And as i am sitting here by this lappie, im jus tryna type to kill time so tt i will have lees time at gramp's house as my dad is there and he sounded like he was on fire but then i got caught in the middle somehow and i have to turn up. Then when i am there, im gonna make sure im gonna have just enough time to eat and maybe hear some small talks or lecturers and go off to meet my friends but im gonna tell them that im gonna have a meeting in school.
Girls are all the same when they are pretty. Their arrogance and ignorance seems what to be bothering me. Im just beginning to hate pretty people especially girls. Because when any girls see handsome guys, they go gugugaga oveer them, and beautiful girls will always have the attraction w some guy and tt guy will never be me. CLeopatra is beginning to make me hate her and so because of another guy, like she cared anyway. After you stole it, it was not jus enough to do so, but u had to smash it into pieces, hadnt you??? I hate feeling this way u see, being biased towards this kind of issue. But do please give me time and maybe i will learn to love them the way i used to after so much this kind of beings did to me...im jus wasting my time...
That totally came out from nowhere...maybe frm my smashed piecesof pathetic self...
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
8:31 AM
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FrUstRatiOn??DiLeMmA?? PaRt tWO
Assalamualaikum...
Hmm ive been on the net since like 11+ in the mornin jus now...and things arent tt pleasant. I read her blog and some sort got to know the real her as in shes a lil similar to me and how i feel and also sumwhat diff frm wat i expected...some things i read really belittled myself and also what i stand for.
NOt only jus tt,i think tt all my efforts are nvr goin to be fruitful.I am nvr goin to be good enough. For her,not anyone i guess.I tried my best to be someone respectful and someone whom others can appreciate for being an Individual whom care for others,whom made a great impact for the kindness ive shown and so on. Sometimes i believe tt its better for me to become a BAD person and let lose of the evil inside of me so tt i can become the total opposite and make everyone in this life hate me.Maybe i can make a diference in other ppls life by being evil than nice cos its definitely not easy to be nice and be the hero jus like in the movie spiderman.I sometimes believe tt my life is similar as the fate as peter parkers' altho im living in REALITY and i do not have any special powers...
wait ah...i dunnoe how this blogspot actually werks ar...brb...
okok...im back...i got my own blogspot address wrong!! ahakz!!
anw anw...haiz i dun think she will even like me lah.There is not even a glimpse of hopelah.
haiz...i jus dunnoe wat to do w myself.What i had ever had is only INFATUATION i guess. Maybe LOVE is both ways and so far after 17 years and 5 mths and counting of life, it has never been both ways...so sad...Please help me someone...i guess i better be leaving now...
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
2:24 PM
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FrUstRatiOn??DiLeMmA?? PaRt OnE
Assalamualaikum...
OK this is the fucking third time tt im tryna post this stupid post...
i dunnoe wat happened w it but is sure damn got me so worked up man.
Silat training was terrible ytd as only some of us turned up and this was ALL tt minah reb's fault for not informing the rest tt thers trainin and those who were present also got worked up becos she dint even reply or return ain's msgs or missed calls. So anw heard frm them she made quite a scene. & anw we trained on our own and i sparred w ikhwan anf gave his left shin a good knock cos he wasnt tt interested to do so. He then switched himself w adi and then tt got me mad cos im not good enuff to be a good fighter and then i received quite a beating and then managed to knocked my face and nose into him. Soon i got tired and got further LESSON frm adi and den i ended it off w a front sweep tt im not used to and den hurt my right shin.tt was wat i tot atleast but the impact had a shockwave effect on the ankle and therefore it hurts cos it was not in perfect condition before too...so it was made worst.
So anw after training we discussed a lil on how to settle our probs and den went to al azhar and had a lil food like me havin chendol durian and murtabak and talked to sallehan and ain abt stuffs and sum internal probs...bla3 den got home...
i dunnoe wat i was thinking of...oh ya wait.wat a small werld the fren tt i often talk to online knows her.tt was a major shock man!! and i chatted w her b4 gg off for trainin and tt sort of pumped me up a lil but after tdae...ill tell u later in part 2...
anw anw i cudnt really slepp ytd nite i dunnoe y...dunnoe wat i was thinking of.the thing tt happened before trainin or the trainin itself or the stuffs tt led to the problematic trainin like tt stupid minah reb...but i was like got up frm slee a couple of times during sleep like at 3 and den at 4+ and den 6 den finally at 9...argh....wat the heck lah...i think i better calm myself down now ang better go for preyers first...hit ya back w part 2 later...
ASsalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
2:18 PM
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hihi
Assalamualaikum...
hihi im jus tryin out this blog at blogspot cos i used frenster blog before this and decided for a change...so yah my nxt post is a v sad one..better watch out!!!
Assalamualaikum
Faizal Fernandez
1:14 PM
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